What is a narcissist?

The term, “narcissist” is thrown around quite often, and can be misused. One of the defining characteristics of a narcissist is an individual who views others as objects, rather than as people. People are seen as sources that supply the narcissist with attention, admiration, and idealization to maintain a concealed fragile sense of self. Narcissism exists on a continuum, with hallmarks of the disorder including, but not limited to, a lack of empathy, inflated sense of self-importance, sense of entitlement, and a need for admiration. Such characteristics start in they project their feelings onto their partner. For instance, instead of owning their own feelings of worthlessness and shame, they treat their partners in such a way that the partners feel worthless and ashamed. Due to their inability to relate to others as more than mere objects, narcissists lack the ability to love their partner. When seeing that their partner has withdrawn their love and care, the narcissist will know how to manipulatively regain the love of the empath by providing what feels like authentic love and connection. It can be confusing for an empath, who feels heightened levels of bonding and “love” from the narcissist at times. The narcissist acts like a slot machine. Every once in a while, the slot machine will yield out treasures, but the majority of the time the empath is left deprived of love. Often times,empaths proclaim that their partner can either be “really amazing or just awful.” This stark contrast in character leaves the empath always longing for the amazing part of their partner to shine forth.