Psychologist fari

"Have you ever thought that cooking at home is not just a domestic chore, but a chain that binds the family system together? In the 1980s, when cooking at home decreased in the US and the trend of ordering food from outside increased, some economists warned that if the government took care of children and the elderly, and private companies took over food preparation, the family structure would weaken. At that time, very few people paid attention to these warnings, but what happened later? In 1971, 71% of American households consisted of married couples with children living together. Today, only 20% of such families remain. Where did the rest go? To nursing homes, solo apartments, or disjointed lives? 15% of women live alone, 12% of men are alone in families, 41% of children are born out of wedlock, 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages, and 74% of third marriages. This is not an accident; it's a social price paid for closing the kitchen. Home-cooked fo...

A session that truly reflects our society. A young man, 30 years old, with a master's degree and a good job, was worried, and a friend suggested he meet with a psychologist. I asked him the reason, and he said, 'Doctor, I'm facing family issues.' I asked what kind of issues, and he replied, 'My second brother is also married, living in a different part of the house, has less education than me, and doesn't have a good job... and several other things.' I asked, 'So what's the problem?' He said, 'I don't know since when, we've been in a kind of competition, which I'm continuing despite not wanting to. I don't have an answer to it.' He talked about his feelings for about 20 minutes. When he had unburdened himself, I asked, 'Have you noticed how motorcyclists often try to race with cars or bigger vehicles?' The young man nodded. 'Their bike is 70cc or 150cc, and the car starts at 660cc. Suppose you're sitting in...

"The most 'toxic emotions or feelings' are regrets. Last night, I received around 50 messages from the same number, and they asked for 5 minutes of my time, which I granted. When we spoke on the call, it was a girl who had a session with me 1 year and 4 months ago. She was tearfully seeking forgiveness and said, 'I'm really regretting what I did, not listening to you... I'm in immense distress, can't sleep or eat. I thought I'd ask for your forgiveness, maybe I'll find some peace. It was the biggest mistake of my life to give that person access to you and blindly trust them. They did exactly what you warned me about... I was blinded by love and couldn't see or hear...' The conversation went from 5 minutes to 25 minutes, and it wasn't appropriate to cut it short in that state. You see, whatever happened at that time must have seemed right to you, and that's why you did it. We all have the right to make our own life decisions, and it...

An important point from the couple's session... There's a common perception in our society that if a couple lives separately from their in-laws after marriage, their marriage will be successful. I'd like to clarify that living separately doesn't guarantee a successful marriage. Even when living separately, divorces happen, conflicts arise, and many issues emerge between the couple. When the young man asked, "What kind of issues?" I said: "The attraction between each other starts to fade, both unconsciously start drifting apart, and boredom sets in. An unknown tension builds up. Both feel like the other person is imposed upon them - because when they separate immediately after marriage, they don't get a chance to adjust to each other." If they spend a few years together with the in-laws after marriage, the relationship strengthens. Both learn to care for each other. The emotions that help strengthen the bond at this age emerge more intensely and b...